Services

Everything you need to look busy.

Memberships come with all the amenities of a modern workplace, and none of the people who were using them.

Hot Desks

Heated. Obviously.

Every desk is kept at a steady 85°F and covered in somebody else's important paperwork. Sit on it. That is the work.

$12/day

Forty mechanical keyboards. No one typing.

Walk across any of them at any time. Our autosave policy is a human rights violation, and we are very proud of it.

Included with any drink

Reserve a patch of sun by the quarter hour.

Our building managers track the sun across the floor so you don't have to. Move with it, or demand that it move for you.

$4 / patch

Stare at a wall with colleagues.

Soundproofed rooms with one blank wall each. Something is there. You will all see it at the same time. Do not explain.

$30 / hour

Sixteen hours, uninterrupted.

Cardboard construction, museum-grade fit. If you fits, you sits. If you don't fit, you also sits, and the pod becomes your problem.

$8 / nap

Feed the whole team at 5am.

We arrive before anyone is awake, stand on your chest, and serve breakfast. Volume discounts for offices with three or more cats.

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