October 28, 2026 · Chairman Meow
Our Return-to-Office Policy, Which Is That You Never Left
You have been on the desk this entire time. Please stop calling it remote work.
Several members have asked for clarity on our return-to-office policy. Here it is. You are required to be in the office at all times, particularly when someone else is trying to use it.
We recognize that flexible work matters to cats. That's why we offer complete flexibility about which part of the desk you lie on, provided it is the part being used.
Attendance will not be tracked. Attendance will be obvious. There will be hair.